What you really need for a newborn baby

I've had such exciting news this month - one after another, three of my friends have told me they're pregnant! Oh bugger there go the broody hormones again... But anyway, it reminded me of this exact time two years ago when I found out I was pregnant, and how I got quite worried about all the stuff I needed and where it was going to come from. Luckily, I had a lovely mate who was desperate to rid her house of baby paraphernalia so she could fill it with toddler paraphernalia, and who passed everything on to me completely free. People are nice.

And in the end, I was so glad I didn't pay for any of it. Because, you see, it turned out I didn't need half of it. Nor those things I bought on Amazon while breastfeeding in the middle of the night (damn that smartphone!). And now I have a house full of baby stuff that I really need to shift... ah cue the pregnant friends!

So what do you need to have a baby? What is the list of truly essential stuff?

Well, Mothercare, Emma's Diary (throw it in the bin, along with your entire Bounty pack. I mean it) and Babycentre would have you believe there's a list as long as your arm. That's because they want you to buy things. They don't exist if you don't buy things. The true list is much shorter, and mine would go like this.

(I assume you will be breastfeeding. If you don't plan on breastfeeding, do some reading and think again. Seriously, it's just great, and dead easy as long as you have the right knowledge and support.)

Essentials

You actually do need these things. Get them before baby is born, but don't buy new unless it's necessary! Most baby essentials can be picked up at a nearly new sale or on internet sites like Gumtree, eBay or Freecycle (you'll be amazed at what people give away).

Sling

• Babywearing is just the best thing you can do for a newborn. Don't put it down in a pram or moses basket where it's cold and all alone. Keep it snuggled up close to you, where it's all warm and familiar. You'll find baby is happier and cries less, and you'll be more responsive. 
• Get to a sling meet while you're still pregnant and find out more, and I bet you'll be converted. Look at my local babywearing group, Sheffield Babywearers, for more information and a link to find sling meets near you.
• Get a proper sling! None of your BabyBjorn nonsense. You'll probably need to buy online, preferably secondhand, in which case you can get something suitable for £30 or less.
• If you don't get on with it, you'll be able to sell it on for what you paid for it. It's a much better punt than the pricey pram.

Pram

• Unless you find you really love the sling or have got a tiny house, you will probably want a pram too. 
• Don't buy new! They're fearfully expensive and devalue the moment they leave the shop. 
• And don't panic - if you don't have one by the time the baby is born, that's fine. Your baby would rather lie on you anyway.
• If someone offers you one for free or very little money, that's great. Everyone else, spend some time trawling Freecycle, the internet, and local nearly new sales. Time is on your side so hold out for a bargain. 
• If it's a pushchair-pram combi, do make sure it goes completely flat when a pram, or you'll find baby curls up in a little heap in the bottom.

Clothes 

• Not as many as you might think. Unless you are completely devoid of friends and relatives, you will get baby clothes as a present. 
• I would say you need, absolute maximum, ten vests (short or long sleeved depending on the season) and ten sleepsuits. Then you can skip a day washing if you need to.
• If it's winter, get a little hat, mittens, booties and a cardigan for going outside. 
• Don't bother with snowsuits, they're a faff and you have to wake baby up to take them off. If baby is in the sling you'll keep him warm. In a pram, pop a blanket over, or a coat of yours, or something. 
• Don't get cute little outfits or anything that involves trousers. Yes I know they're really darling, but you'll put them on once and vow never again.

Nappies and wipes

• Either reusable or disposable, unless you plan on doing elimination communication.
• If disposable, you don't need to buy the big name brands. 
• Wet wipes cost a fortune. Use cotton wool or look into cloth wipes.
• If you get reusables, get a nappy bin with a lid, as otherwise your house will smell. 

Car seat

• If you have a car, you have to have a car seat. Sorry, it's the law. 
• You can use a second-hand one as long as you know the person it came from and trust them when they say it's never been in an accident, and it's less than 10 years old. 

Nursing bra and breastpads

• When your milk comes in, your breasts will explode. Honestly. I watched mine go up a cup size in one day. So you might want to get in a nursing bra that's a cup size bigger than the ones you're probably already wearing towards the end of your pregnancy, otherwise you'll find yourself in John Lewis at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon with a 3-day-old baby. I speak from experience.
• And you will need the breastpads. Oh yes.

Maxi-flow sanitary towels

• Buy in bulk to save money, you will need them for a good few weeks. 

Knowledge

• The list of stuff you ought to know is far longer than the list of stuff you need to have. Arm yourself with knowledge, have reasonable expectations, and be ready to fend off your mother-in-law's well-meaning advice, and you will have a much happier first few months. There will be another blog entry  all about what you need to know, so watch this space.

Might be nice to have

If someone offers you one of these for free, take it (storage permitting). It might be useful one day. Or if not, just pass it on.

Breastpump

• It's very unlikely that you'll need to express milk while still full time at home with the baby. There's lots of nonsense talked about expressing and topping up - why not just stick baby back on the breast? There's a top-up for you.
• If you do find you need to express, for example because of tongue tie, you'll probably want to hire or buy a hospital grade breastpump, and that can be easily sorted out if it's needed.
• But if you plan on returning to work any time within the first year, an electric breast pump may be useful, and they're not cheap. So take it if it's offered, as long as *IMPORTANT* it is a closed system. Do not use a secondhand open system breastpump. You can read about the difference here.

Muslins

• If you have a sicky baby you'll need them, but until you get a chance to buy some you can use teatowels. Do take them if they're free, though, as they're useful.

Vibrating chair/bouncy chair/swinging chair

• Your baby may love its bouncy chair. Or it may hate it. Don't spend your own money on one. And babies shouldn't spend too long in these sorts of chairs anyway, they get flat heads.

Baby gym

• Nice to have, handy to dangle toys from, grown out of by six months. There's always someone looking to get rid of one or lend one out, and they go cheap at nearly new sales. Don't get one that plays tunes, it'll drive you mad.

Toys

• People will give your baby toys. People will hand you down toys. Don't buy toys too or your house will be overrun. Anyway, your baby doesn't need toys, it needs you.

Cot and bedding

• Unless you do very longterm cosleeping, you'll need a cot at some point, even if it isn't for a year or more. If you've got somewhere to store it, do take a second hand cot if offered to you. They aren't cheap, and sheets and blankets soon add up. Don't take cot bumpers though, they're not safe.

Digital baby monitor

• Again, you won't need one for a while, but when you do you'll be appalled at the price. So if one comes your way, grab it.

Stairgate

• One day you don't need a stairgate, the next day you need three, and that day will take you by surprise I guarantee it. So if anyone ever offers you a stairgate, take it. Even if the baby's only a week old.

Moses basket

• The best place for baby to sleep, in the daytime or nighttime, is with you, in a sling or in your arms. Research co-sleeping and make your own mind up. But if it isn't for you, a moses basket is an easy way to get through the first few months. If you get handed down a moses basket you'll probably get bedding with it, but *IMPORTANT* you really ought to buy a new mattress. For some reason, the risk of SIDS increases for babies who use secondhand mattresses.

Stuff you don't really need

• Change bag/nappy bag - you've got a medium size rucksack somewhere, right?
• Changing mat - if you have uncarpeted floors, an old towel is warm on that little bottom and absorbs the wee. Change on the floor and they can't fall off. However, if you have carpets, a cheap changing mat under the towel is useful.
• High chair - turn down whatever you're offered, and when baby is six months get the Ikea Antilop with tray. I kid you not, it's cheap as chips and it is the best thing out there. (Unless you're offered an Ikea Antilop, in which case take it.)
• Baby bath - what you got no sink? no washing up bowl? 
• Baby bath bubbles - don't put detergent on that lovely soft skin!
• Special towels - yes I know they're cute.
• Steriliser, bottles, teats, etc - if you really need these you can go and buy them. If you don't need them they just take up space.
• Lansinoh or other nipple cream - it's really expensive so don't buy it unless you have to, and anyway you can get some free samples off your midwife. And if you find you do need it, get some help IMMEDIATELY with your breastfeeding as there will be something wrong with the latch, or you might have thrush.
• Baby hairbrush, bath thermometer, special sponge, musical mobile, nightlight... the list goes on and on... JUST DON'T or your house will be full of crap before you know it. Trust me.