Anti-parenting tip 1

Our little bundle of need is not so little any more, although still very needy. In fact she is 15 months old and on a developmental ramp to walking, talking and throwing tantrums.

I've read a lot about positive parenting and gentle discipline and hope to put some of it into practice, but one thing I've learnt in the past year is that you can't know how you're going to parent until you're actually doing it. You can however, store up little ideas of what not to do.

In the pub last week I listened to a mum "helping" her 2-year-old daughter with the stacking cups:

"No that's not first, get number 10... No that's not on right... No that one's not next... No you need number 8... No it's blue... No it's there behind you... No you want the red one next... No that's not going to work, can you see..."

Later she told me, without a hint of self-awareness, that she was frustrated at how often her daughter said "no" to her.

Since then I have been listening to myself and I am surprised at just how many sentences I start with "no" or "don't" when I talk to Bundle. I am now making a positive effort to talk positively. For example, I try to catch myself before I say "No don't touch that" and substitute in "Let's play over here."

It's not easy, but I think it is worthwhile. And meantime, I am pleased to report that Bundle's first word seems to be "yes". And "dada". No I'm not upset.